Oct 29, 2007


It is now 1 week I am in Iquitos.
I have already been in the jungle 4 days. I had the Turista for the first time in my life. Not funny. Feels like you will die of emptying yourself from every sides.

I think I will make a list:

1/ Time:
I am using internet with a 112 K connection...I can assure you that the notion of time can change radically in these cases.

2/ Shower:
This must be the most humid place in the world, and there is not a real water system in here. No running water all day long, only at certain hours in the morning, what about that?

3/ Panic attack:
Yesterday, hubby took the plane back to USA and I got soooo scared to stay here without him. Even if I am not alone here, Marc going away was really scary. We have a very deep relationship, deep understanding...I got suddently scared I couldn´t live without that.
I also miss my babies a lot.
But Arturo is great and it feels so good to have a friend.

Entiendo un poco, pero soy más tímida y es muy difícil!
The progress are slow even if I am able to read Borges in spanish! How weird is that?

5/ Bathroom:
Arturo just told me the bathroom door is fixed so I can close it now...Wow, we are about to leave the Middle Age!!! No running water like I said, and the bathroom is in such a crappy state, I think I will have nightmares about it for the next 10 years!
Today´s goal: get some cleaning products!

6/ Arbol:
We went through all the donations and material we have for the kids. I think they will never believe their eyes when they will see all that. Thank to all the amazing people who send us lot of supplies. I went to visit the place where we will give the classes and this is really heartbreaking how these families are poor. The children are starving.
At a moment, there was that minuscule puppy I pet, and the little girl told me: te vendo mi perro! I almost cried...
I got really depressed and full of doubts about my work there. These children are hungry and what I bring to them is something not usefull per se.
After having thought it through, I realized that they deserves as much as anyone to enjoy themselves with creation, art, painting... I am not bringing bread to them, but I hope I will be able to bring them joy.

This whole trip is finally such a challenge for me, something I didn´t really wanted to think about when I was preparing it.

Changes are painfull…But this is how we are able to evolve and to open ourselves to the World.
To think, and to do.

Oct 17, 2007


1996, originally uploaded by MlleHyena.

I always say: I was goth blablabli
So here you go.

Oct 16, 2007

Music and white hair, and conspiracies

1- I just found my first white hair.
Whatever, I am 32 and yesterday while I was listening at Disintegration of The Cure for the first time in so many years, remembering my 16 with a bitter smile, which were not sweet at all, I told myself that even if I am the double of that age, I am glad of the path I took, I am glad about what I became...and I am glad I am still learning...I am glad I am still opened and more lucid than ever...

2- I was living under a rock, and I just figured out NIN released another album last february. What was my freaking surprise when I discovered Trent Reznor (and his marketing crew?) developped a crazy net of gaming trail thing, tons of site, conspiracy theories and fucking Chomsky inspired empire.

Just one thing: the music is bad, and the political and protestating background even worse. Saying the exact opposite of those you're against come down to going the same way as them.
Just like people driving Austin Mini to protest against Hummer. WTF with you all little minds?

3- And the very best for the end: Radiohead.

The more I listen to it, the more I love it. Just like Bach's best pieces, just like all the masterpieces, the more you look at them, the more you listen to them, the more you know them, the better it gets...
This is what art is made of.

I paid 2 pounds for it. I could have paid less. I couldn't have paid more.
Everyone found amazing what they did, it is such a big middle finger at the music industry and at the consummerism (if you don't know it already, your favorite artists only get 1 or 2 $ the cd they sell, the rest goes to the industry major etc).
A member of the band announced it was not a political position, but just a way to see how people price music.
Sorry John, this is bullshit.
Whatever your reasons were you guys, I am poor and I couldn't choose between paying 20 $ for your music when offered almost for free, and the money I need to go give classes to poor kids in Peru...

Live is a matter of choice, and a matter of ethic.

"you are all I need"

Oct 5, 2007


Lilou, originally uploaded by MlleHyena.

Rest in peace my little Lilou...Until we see eachother again, in the meantime, give Nounou a huge cuddle from his Mommy...:(

Leo died yesterday, peacefully, in France, at my ex-boyfriend's, whom adopted him after I've left France and couldn't travel with him.

Fred, my ex, will bury him near Nounou, under a hazelnuts tree, in the Burgundy countryside.