Long time away

Old Gurna Village - It probably doesn't exist anymore. The Egyptian Departement of Archeology decided to get rid of everyone. Now it will be without life, a paradise for tourists drowned in concrete. 

I am back from France and from Egypt. I don't know if I can find the right words and I think I will prefer silence.

And I will leave you with these pictures of my Dad and me, the places we have been and even though it was far than being perfect, I miss it all anyway.

One of the most ancient Muslim city of Egypt, Balaat.

Hot Spring Pool in the Oases.

I know, I look like shit, but that baby goat just kissed me on my nose and I wanted to take her away with me!!

Papa

This is so awesome: my Dad cancer is in total remission!!!! His hair is growing fast too. As you can see we are all very happy!

Printemps - New everything

You can find these on etsy and in almost all my other online store.

I also go accepted on PapernStich. You can go and vote for my designs (I have to check but I think it is to won another month for free other there!) 

My store will be live tomorrow at that adress

And last but not least: My Dad's results came back and all the bad stuffs disappeared!!! This is so awesome. :))

Good things

I have been a bit depressed and I am starting to do better. It is the first time I am having depression during Spring.

My Dad is out of the hospital since 10 days (already?) and he is doing allright. We are waiting for his blood test results. His doctor just abandonned him. I was so furious. Imagine you are fighting cancer, you spend 3 weeks  in a sterile room. First you doctor never comes to see you. Second, you are out of the hospital and he tells you that he doesn't want to see you. You can come and see him privately though and pay the full price!!! (health care is totally different in France).

What about the deontology? What about my Dad's moral? We already knew that doctor was not nice. But then, it is really the last straw. My poor Papa was all demoralized. 
The good thing though, he is feeling better. Still tired, still feeling the effect of chemio and all. But he doesn't suffer anymore and that is wonderful. I can't wait to go and see him in France.

I have been working like crazy but today I prefer to show someone else's work. When I came across Pippi's jewelry, I was awestruck. If you love me and want to make a gift to me here are what I dream about:

But the last two pairs would do too! Check out her shop, it is full of intricate and sophisticated creations.

Hopital

Papa is at the hospital since Monday. They first gave him the chemio and it went well. No side-effects and so on.
Yesterday, he received his cell transplant and once again it went very well. Not fever, no reaction. He is now in a totally sterile room, my family has to put on a complete suit when they visit him, one at a time. He is having this kind of ventilation on him all the time.
So I am relieved a bit. Now we are waiting for the blood test to see if the transplant is working.

But...There is always a "but", right? France is changing. The wrong way: everything is being privatized. Everyone and everything is following the very same path USA followed these last years (if not decades). See where we are now? At the hospital, you have to pay several euros to park to go and visit your family. I don't know for other hospitals, but I never heard about that in here, and it was the first time in France.

The first 2 days, there were not telephone and no tv in the room. It was broken. But now, everything is outsource to private businesses and it takes days to have them to come and fix things. My granny gave my Dad that wonderful laptop and we were planning on doing a lot of webcam as I am so far away. Well, there is no way he can catch a wireless network! They are all locked and the one available for everyone doesn't work.

It took 2 days to bring him a blanket (he was really cold with the aeration thing). It took one day to bring him a nicotine patch. The tobaccologue was supposed to visit him. No one so far.
That ward is supposed to close next year and they will all move in the brand new buildings. Yes, fine. 
But what do the patients become until then?

Fortunately the nurses seem quite nice with him and are visiting him often. He sleeps well and eat well.
I miss him so much. Today I was finally able to speak with him (yes, he is back in the 21st century! He has very nice movies channels and PHONE! Crazy, right?).
A friend proposed to lend me the money to go and see him. I am so touched by her wonderful generosity. And if she reads that, a lot of hugs to her!

That is something I discovered living in this country, USA. People are generous. 

Determination

Warning long post ahead.

France

I spent 3 weeks in France. The trip to go was nice, I met a french woman in the plane who just spent 3 months in USA and we spoke for hours. It was cool because the time was flying as well. I also couldn't wait to arrive as I so eagerly wanted to be with my Dad.
When I arrived at my parent's, I was so happy to see my Dad and so sad to see in what pain he was. He was bedridden for almost 3 months, he had lost a lot of weight and muscles. He was at that time in the first week of treatment.
But I stayed strong and didn't cry. I didn't suffered much from the jet lag. 
I discovered the doctor wasn't really treating my Dad's pains! They did give him some tylenol and that was it!

When I went to the hospital with him, I met the doctor and had to ask all the nurses around about the pain treatments. The doctor was saying that with the chemio treatment the pain would go away by itself. But meanwhile my Dad was suffering for nothing and he had to walk with a cane and was waking up every 2 hours at night!

The french system is maybe all good when it comes to costs and relatively fair and equal treatments of the sick ones. The only problem is structural. Administrative. They finally gave some more serious painkillers to Papa. With those and the treatment taking effect, the pain slowly went away and on 3 weeks I was there, I have seen my Dad walking around again, having some good nights sleep and eating well again.
The last news are pretty good. The treatment is working very well. 

I was so amazed at my Dad's strenght! He was never sick in his life and then, this terrible cancer and he fights! His moral is pretty good even though my mother is such a PIA sometimes. But she is also taking really good care of him.
That terrible disease of my Dad really brought us all back together and we got rid of all our pety fights. I spent a very good time with my brother Mathieu and my sister Emilie. I am so glad we are speaking together again. I think my Dad was really happy about it as well.
I was also glad to see my granny who has been really traumatized by my Dad's cancer.

I am going back in December. I really miss them all and I wish I could be with my Dad more. But there is just no way for us to come back to France. There is the financial issue, but for me now there is something else.

USA

Once again I was glad to come back even though I was letting my family behind. 24 hours trip just let me half dead and I caught a terrible cold, a kind of flue. But I came back with a very strong determination about my business. I love what I do. I am enjoying living in USA. Generalisations are what they are, but french people are not generous. And even if I have been ostracized here, even if it has been really difficult at times for the french person I am, I really like my life here and what I am able to do.
I also can see the difference between french selfishness and how americans "care".
Also it is such a great thing to be in USA during these last moments of the election.

I have been working a lot lately. I am really happy at how my work turned out. I also have been selling quite a lot!  
So all of you my dear customers thank you so much for supporting my work and for allowing me to finance my visits to my Dad.

On a side note, I am muted for a month on etsy forums. I have decided I won't come back there at all. Unless the rules change and become fair and clear. But we all know this won't happen.
So you know where you can find me. All the links to my web presence are here!

Phase III

Finally my Dad didn't have to stay at the hospital. His Myeloma is Phase III meaning the cancer is developped and that there is a tumor. Several bones are touched but not all. Also his overal health is quite good. His doctor says it is a slow developping cancer. He will have a catheter next week. Next step is starting the treatment with a combination of medications and chemiotherapy. And the autogreffe after.

This is such a nightmare. I realized I loved my Dad even more than I thought because when I think about him and his cancer, I don't think about me being deprived of his presence, I think about his suffering, about how he must feel right now, how he must be afraid and all.

I wanted to move back to France but this is materially and financially impossible. For now. I am drowning myself into work, trying to take my mind out of it, but I just can't. I just want to hug my Dad. I just want to be with him and my family. I just want to fuck away this asshole of cancer and make it disappear...